I wake up with the weight of yesterday
Still hanging from my chest like chains
Every mirror feels like an enemy
Reflecting someone I barely recognize
I learned how to laugh at the right moments
Say “I’m fine” like it’s a prayer
But the truth lives under my tongue
And it’s choking me every time I swear
There’s a war in my head I never win
I just survive another round
Every thought is a loaded gun
Pointed inward, never making a sound
I’ve tried to bury the past with promises
Tried to drown it in sleepless nights
But it keeps crawling back through the floorboards
Whispering, “You’re too tired to fight”
I keep the lights on so no one sees
The mess I’ve made of me
If they knew how close I am
Would they still believe?
I’m holding on with hands that shake
For the people I love, for the hearts I’d break
I smile so they don’t see the pain
I bleed in silence again and again
I’m losing battles I never show
Screaming inside, but my face says “no”
I’m completely broken, barely alive
But I wear this smile just to survive
I’ve memorized the shape of goodbye
In case tonight is the night
I write my name in invisible ink
On letters I’ll never have the strength to write
They say I’m strong, they say I inspire
If only they knew the cost
If strength is just not letting go
Then I’ve been strong at too much of a loss
Every breath feels borrowed now
Like I owe the world my pain
I stay because you need me here
Even when staying feels insane
I sit in rooms full of laughter
And feel like a ghost in the crowd
I scream for help inside my head
But my lips never make a sound
I’m scared of what I’d be
If I finally set myself free
Would anyone forgive me
For choosing peace over misery?
I’m holding on with hands that shake
For the people I love, for the hearts I’d break
I smile so they don’t see the pain
I bleed in silence again and again
I’m losing battles I never show
Screaming inside, but my face says “no”
I’m completely broken, barely alive
But I wear this smile just to survive
If I’m honest...
I don’t want to be brave anymore
I don’t want to fight just to exist
I don’t want to wake up feeling like
Staying alive is a favor I owe the world
But then I hear your voice
And I remember why I’m still here
Even if every step forward
Feels like dragging fear through broken glass
I’m tired of pretending I’m okay
Tired of pushing the dark away
Every night, I’m face-to-face
With the part of me I hate
I lose, I lose, I lose again
But somehow, I still stand
Not because I want to live
But because you need my hand
I’m holding on with everything
That’s left of a shattered man
If I let go, I know I’d fall
And I couldn’t take that chance
I smile so you don’t see the pain
I carry hell so you feel safe
I’m completely broken, dead inside
But I’ll stay... I’ll stay... I’ll stay alive
One day, I hope this weight will fade
One day, I hope I’ll mean the smile I make
Until then, I’ll fight the night alone
And hold on... even when I want to let go