I still hear the echo when the room goes dark
Like shattered glass still living in my heart
I didn’t ask to carry all this weight
Didn’t ask for fear to learn my name
Now every sound can turn into a gun
Every shadow feels like I should run
My body fights a war that never ends
While I pretend I’m safe again
I’m so tired of breathing like disaster’s near
Tired of drowning in invisible fear
I don’t want these flashbacks
Don’t want these ghosts
Don’t want my mind replaying what hurts the most
I don’t want this shaking
This hollow chest
This depression dragging chains across my breath
I just want sleep
But the visions don’t die
They claw through the dark and tear apart the night
I keep asking if I’ll ever feel alright
But PTSD won’t leave me
And silence never stays
I just want to be normal again
But I probably never will be the same
I hate what it does to the ones I love
How my storm still rains on everyone
One bad day and my whole mood shifts
I become someone I can’t exist with
They see the anger, but not the ache
The panic hiding underneath my face
They hold me close while I break apart
And I hate how pain lives in my arms
I know they try, but I still pull away
Like I’m scared love will leave if I stay
I don’t want these flashbacks
Don’t want this pain
Don’t want anxiety burning through my veins
I don’t want the numbness
Or empty eyes
Or waking up exhausted just to survive
I just want sleep
But mercy never comes
The nightmares speak louder than anyone
And every time I think I’m healing, then I come undone
’Cause PTSD still haunts me
Like scars beneath my skin
I just want to be normal again
But I don’t know where that has been
Maybe I’m not who I was before
That person’s buried behind locked doors
A stranger wearing my own face
Trying to live through yesterday
And I keep wishing I could wake up clean
Without this war inside of me
Without my chest collapsing in the dark
Without this violence in my heart
I don’t want these flashbacks
Don’t want this grief
Don’t want to fight my own mind just to breathe
I don’t want to watch my loved ones hurt
Because my pain keeps bleeding through my words
I just want sleep
One quiet night
Without reliving every shattered light
Without these visions hunting me till morning starts to rise
But PTSD still holds me
Like chains I cannot bend
I just want to be normal again
Even if I never am again
So I’ll keep breathing
Though it hurts like hell
Living with a story I never chose myself
Still hoping someday
This ache will loosen then
Even if I never become
Who I was back then.